Monday, September 20, 2010

The importance of being independent

The word independence is defined by Google as, "freedom from control or influence of another or others." 
The Independent Woman as defined by the Urban Dictionary is, "A woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and DOES NOT allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports her self on her own entirely and is proud to be able to do so." 

As a young woman navigating my way in the real world I feel it is very important that I am independent. I like doing things on my own, it may be partly from my upbringing but I'm fairly stubborn in that I don't like to ask for help. Don't get me wrong, I've asked for help in the past but I try to keep that at a minimum. I don't like asking for help for a couple of reasons, 1. because I hate feeling indebted to people, and 2. because I like learning how to do things myself. I find it gratifying and empowering to know that whatever I set my mind to I can accomplish on my own. Through my own hard work, sweat, tears, whatever it takes to get to where I want to be and to have what I want. It's good to really dig deep, learn about who you are as human being, what you like, what you dislike, think about your goals- long term and short term. Where you want to be in 10 years etc. Not to be totally negative but really this is a pretty cut throat world, yeah people are nice but really at the end of the day you have to be your own best friend and look out for your own best interests. I think in life there are two things that are certain, at the end of the day I am accountable for myself and my actions and I know that no matter what my dad, sister and brother will always be there for me. Beyond that I don't expect anything else from anyone.

It's important to be independent because no one likes a needy person. If you're super codependent or needy then you're boring and uninteresting. Now you may think that being independent might be lonely right? Wrong, it's not. You can be independent while still having friends and fun. It's all about balance. Being independent is also interesting and intriguing.

Some ways you can be an independent woman are
  1. Get a solid education so that you can later get a job that pays well. Or any other kind of professional training that will help you develop marketable skills to get a good job. Financial independence is key. 
  2. Invest some money, learn about your investment options because there are many. It's one thing to be able to make rent every month, its another to begin building your wealth and assets. 
  3. Be confident. 
  4. Understand that a healthy relationship with a man or woman is wanting to be with them, not needing to be with them. 
  5. Be compassionate and kind.
  6. Define who you are, know yourself. What you like/dislike etc. 
  7. Always think logically and critically, don't just accept the answers of other people. If something doesn't make sense investigate. 
  8. Be interesting, do you have a hobby or favorite pass time? Make sure that when you're not working you're doing productive positive things. 
  9. Travel somewhere completely on your own. I promise it's not as scary as it may seem, its actually a lot of fun. 
  10. Get a role model, pick someone you admire or who have qualities and characteristics that you want to be like and emulate them. Think about Oprah, Anna Wintour, or Jennifer Aniston. 
“A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water” -Nancy Reagan.

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