Wednesday, June 16, 2010

You Can't Marry Jethro Without Gettin' The Clampetts

One of my favorite books I think I mentioned in a previous post is How To Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. On the cover it says it's the fool proof way to follow your heart without losing your mind. I realize it's only one book and not the be all end all of relationships but I always enjoy reading different author's perspectives on how a good relationship works. It's best to be as informed as possible on as many subjects as your brain can handle, I think anyway. One of the chapters in the book talks about the infamous subject of family and how learning about your potential partner's family life can tell you a lot about the person. As you know family is huge to me so of course I thought it was appropriate to touch on. 

The chapter begins with, "Childhood experiences are some of the strongest predictors of what your mate will be like as a spouse or parent."John Van Epp, the author mentions that the first area of exploration is the degree of closeness in a family because closeness within a family is generated by an environment of openness and involvement. I was fortunate to grow up in a loving and open environment so naturally I have a positive and happy outlook on family. Van Epp then lists out a few things you should learn about along the way about family affection and aggression.

-What was the mood or atmosphere in the home?
-How was affection shown?
-What made you feel special in the family?
-Who were you close to in your family?
-How did you know that you were loved by your mother? Your father?
-How were conflicts handled by your parents?
-What did you do when you were angry at your mother? Your father?
-How did your mother and father handle their anger?
-Were your parents divorced? 
-If so, how old were you? What was the divorce and post-divorce adjustment like? 
-What was your mother like as a wife? Your father?
-What was your relationship like with your mother? Your father? 
-Who handled the discipline?
-Were there any additions in your family?
-What responsibilities did you have in the family?
-How were things share among the family?

These are just a few things mentioned in the chapter. If you have time I recommend checking out the book, it's a pretty quick and easy read! 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails